Impostor Syndrome has become a trendy way to talk about ‘not feeling good enough’, something that is so common when we struggle with perfectionism. Yet, perfectionism is often misunderstood. Many of us think it’s about wanting ‘things to be perfect’ when really it’s about high expectations that leave our life off balance. It can also leave us struggling with anxiety and procrastination. I delve further into this topic in this podcast episode.
The disapproval of others can feel paralyzing
It can be exhausting to reach for perfection or seem to have it together. Maybe you were raised to care about your reputation, care about how you carry yourself in the world or you are trying to make others proud. What ever the reason, you might feel like you can’t afford to make mistakes, and so you might work very hard to compensate for what you perceive to be your flaws. You might even be left running on empty, struggling to say no to others, prioritizing other’s feelings or struggling to take care of yourself.
I believe that you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of unconditional love and genuine lasting joy.
‘Hustling for our worthiness’ as described by Brene Brown, is when we keep raising the expectations from ourself, and are working hard for validation at work, in relationships, or even on social media. Yet, nothing we accomplish seems to close the gap, and we are still left feeling ‘not good enough’, like an impostor.
The irony of perfectionism
However you label it, hustling or hiding behind a poker face often leads to disconnection from others and ourselves, even though we are actually striving for connection – because at some level we believe that the self-image we are pursuing will result in making us feel more accepted in some way. But, if we keep hustling and hustling, eventually we often end up feeling like a shell of ourselves, struggling to know who we really are. This is a common struggle, yet, many people feel alone in it because of the culture of silence around discussing feeling ‘not good enough’. If this resonates with you, know that you can feel differently.
There is hope
You can live your life to the fullest and pursue your passions without hustling. I believe you are enough, perfectly imperfect, and you deserve to be your genuine best self, where your drive for betterment is coming from a healthy place. Undoing this cycle can take time and therapy can help. And, you can also get started on your own with some tools I mention in this podcast episode.
Remember, small steps on a regular basis are enough to make change! You took a step today by reading this. Feel free to reach out to me for a free consult if you would like therapeutic support.
Podcast on Perfectionism and Procrastination
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